Or why I’m a sap for the underdog
Loneliness cannot be described anymore than explaining the taste of a strawberry. If you have never spent a major holiday alone, if you have never known loneliness, you can only imagine; you will never really know it. We all like to think of the the joys of Christmas, not the wretched souls who live alone, the seldom noticed people who exist whether we think about them or not. For those of us fortunate enough to open the presents, kiss the kids and roast the chestnuts this year, we should take a moment to reflect on those who would give a few years of life for a holiday spent with family and friends.
I’ve spent Christmas and other holidays in some very strange places, but never alone. Once I went deep sea fishing on Christmas day. I was in the Army then, and had nothing better to do. Although I was with a buddy, I could see that he didn’t give a damn about being 30 miles offshore on Christmas day. And he knew I felt the same. We didn’t talk very much that day; we commiserated in silence, thinking about our families, and the thousands of miles buffer between us and them.
Giving to huge charity organizations is commendable, honorable and tax deductible. Giving of yourself is time-consuming, sometimes thankless and the kindest humanitarian thing you may ever do. Consider these things:
Visit
Visit someone, especially old people in death houses nursing homes. Take a day and turn off email, Twitter, Facebook and reading this blog. Yes, stop reading this and take a smile and a hug to an old man or woman whose kids have abandoned them at the edge of the abyss.
Gift
If you visit, take along something you know this person would like. Think about that for a moment. I once knew a woman, an adamant non-smoker, who took cigarettes to an old man approaching 80. She gave him a moment of happiness; she didn’t worry that smoking may be addictive, shorten his life or cause cancer. Leave your agenda at home and give some real joy to someone.
Call
If you know someone who lives alone, call them. Don’t pester them, just a quick call to let this person know you have not forgotten them because you are “too busy.” Allow them to talk for a while if that’s what they need. Listen. Ask questions. Listen some more.
Invite
Extend an invitation to that person who lives alone. Whatever you do along this line, don’t insist with “Ah, come on. You don’t want to be alone at Christmas.” You don’t know what people want. If they decline, use tact by keeping the offer open. Prudence is that virtue we should be practicing all year.
Give
You dropped a couple of bucks in the charity can and now you feel all warm and virtuous about it. Doing the expected duty is not enough or even the right thing all the time. Most of us have people who attend to our needs. The waiter or waitress who works in the chain store restaurant, the single mom with kids who cleaned your hotel room, the one who delivered your pizza, your newspaper, the convenience store clerk, the countless other shit-jobs performed by thousands of people every day. Did you give them something?
Whatever you are celebrating, Hanukkah, Christmas or Festivus, share. Its that simple.
Well, there’s things that never will be right I know,
And things need changin’ everywhere you go,
But ’til we start to make a move to make a few things right,
You’ll never see me wear a suit of white.
Johnny Cash – From Man in Black
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